Inspirational Quick Speak is a blog that focuses on staying positive, motivated and trying to always see the better half in all situations. Most people only see things in black and white, but I love to waddle through the grey. Yes, it does exist! We experience so much in our lifetime, and even more with the youth of today. Young people who have experienced foster care no longer have to feel like no one understands what it’s like. I do. I’ve seen, I’ve heard, it’s happened to me too. This blog is for me to reach the other youth who are like me, and I like them. We’re in this together! With great trials, there will be tribulations, but staying positive and motivated pushed me to do better and to be better because I already knew what the statistics would label me, so I decided to label myself first!
May 13, 2019
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” -Lewis B. Smedes
Being a forgiving person isn't as common as we’d see a grudgeful, revenge-ridden person in this society. It’s sad to say, but it is the truth. Most times, people find it hard to forgive, I think based on their own insecurities or based off their own stubbornness. I’m into watching TED Talks on YouTube and this one segment on the brain, and the guest began to explain how when we are upset, a stimulus is then sent around through the systems of our body and to the brain. This stimulus stays stimulated for only 90 seconds; meaning after those 90 seconds, you should feel better and more in a calm state. If you do not, it is because you yourself kept rethinking of this issue, re-stimulating that stimuli. Literally making your own self upset...all over again. Your making yourself a prisoner to dark thoughts and emotions and ultimately, depriving yourself of your natural joy and happiness. It is true that forgiveness is for yourself. “I’m not forgiving you for you, I’m forgiving you for me.” To forgive, means to leave the negativity behind and to move forward; rather that means to create something new or to fix the one you had. Either way, forgiveness means a new beginning. You deserve it. Waddling in the bad only keeps bad company and misery sure loves company. You want a change in your life, well you're it. You're the key to a new life, a happy life, the one you were always entitled too. John Connolly said, “There is a nobility in compassion, a beauty in empathy, and grace in forgiveness.” It took some time for this to resonate with myself as well. It was hard to swallow the pill that was so large in my throat. That pill was named egotistical pride.
The moment I made it my decision to let go of my pride and do what was so needed to be done. I said it and I meant it; I forgive you. Now I won’t lie, initially I didn’t get the response I was hoping for, but then I had to realize that this wasn’t for “you”, it was for me and I don’t need you to accept it because letting go of my anger was enough of a release of tension and the beginning of regaining my happiness. I was no longer carrying that miserable burden anymore. I was starting to look at everything differently. I was able to think about my actions before reacting. I was able to control how I felt and with that, more things stopped bothering me as much or not at all. Forgiveness does something to you in an empowering way. You are taking control and keeping it is the best thing you could do for yourself. You can do no things in life until you take care of yourself first. You can’t wake the kids and get the ready for the day until you’ve done so for yourself. You can’t move forward with your future until you’ve come to grips with your past because those same demons will continue to follow you. No matter how deep and dark that closet it, no matter how many locks you’ve put on the past, and no matter how many times you try to forget; the past is not the past until you learn to forgive it. Stop carrying it around with you. I know your bag is overflown; I know your shoulders are heavy with grief. I know that you are so, so tired and I also know that you have prayed countless times for peace. I want it for you because you are removing the bitter layers to reveal the sweet simple things in life. Stop taking you for granted. Stop putting yourself last. Stop depriving yourself of what you deserve. All of us go through things and all of us experience emotions differently, but what we do with those emotions is what has the lasting effect forever. Forgive. Forget. Move on.
April 12, 2019
“We fear doing too little when we should do more. Then atone by doing too much, when perhaps we should do less.” -- Robert Trout
In my young years throughout my young adult life, I have too often second guessed myself. On love, relation/friendships, school assignments, and my emotions. I hated that I never knew what I wanted out of the world, so how could I know what I wanted out of myself. The thing was, I over think everything, no matter how minute it may seem. I want to account for every possibility. I am known by asking hypothetical “what-if’s” because...you never know. When I was in the system, I felt like my voice was taken from me. I felt like it was supposed to be asked for, but not knowing that as an American citizen, I am owed that right under the 1st constitutional amendment; yet I didn’t feel like that applied to me. Although at any age, it does. My voice was so sheepish, and people mistook it for me being shy; when in reality, I was deprived of it.
It seemed to not matter to my family, my friends, faculty, and it really felt like the workers too were all a part of this massive schema to deprive me of something I would later grasp ahold of so tight, that the next person would think twice before they tried to steal it away again. I was a child so scared, so lost and so feeble that I took to writing stories and poetry. This is where I began to track the pieces of my puzzle to put them back together so that I may use it.
In society, we see things, we know things, we’ve done things that we may not be proud of. Everyone can attest to that. We will sometimes just stand aside, watching it all go down because if I do nothing, then I’m not an accomplice, but if I do something, I’m standing for a cause, but at what cost? Our voices are just as if not more powerful than our fists and our weapons of choice. We share countless videos and pictures on the internet, but we only screenshot and keep the personal relatable optimistic treasures to ourselves. This is when we’re doing too little. Then we atone by doing too much, by exercising our right, but from behind the keys of a keyboard in hate. We rally up and protest to ears that aren’t always willing to listen; however, this may upset us, but control is the best revenge you could uphold.
You win when you can speak and defend less but you’ve been heard like the mighty roar of a lion. You win when you can remember that it is you who has the power to change views. You win when you trust yourself and trust the journey you are on. You win when you stop second guessing the life you had been preparing each day for. You win when you...STOP; Ground yourself, breath in the air, listen to your surroundings and become one within yourself and nature. This isn't just something you can apply to one thing and that’s it; apply it everywhere. When you gain that control, you gain trust in you. Trusting yourself eliminates overthinking that leads to over/under-doings.
Cleanse your heart and open your mind. You got this,
April 5, 2019
“It’s not about perfect. It’s about effort. And when you implement that effort into your life...Every single day, that’s where transformation happens. That’s how change occurs. Keep going. Remember why you started.”
We often love putting ourselves in the middle of many things just to feel full, to feel grounded. But when we put on that load, we also forget that we must begin each task in order to lessen the burden and amount that we have on our backs to move on to the next one and so forth. As foster youth, I believe that for most of us, we are used to holding on to so much that we get lost within them and forget who we are and where we want to be/go. We’re all familiar with our friend procrastination.
Procrastination isn’t just in school, it’s at work and even in our home/social lives. I know there were many dates and plans to hang out with the girls or to grab a drink with the guys, but you never actually got around to even opening your front door. When we notice those moments where we feel like we don’t want to or don’t feel like it, we must shrug it off. That little voice is what has kept you centered in distress for so long. That voice is what was holding you back from the bring dreams that you once swore you would conquer.
The best part about procrastination though, is that you always have another chance to turn it around and finish what it is you’ve already began to begin. You are the only person who has control over where you go in life. Don’t ever let your past get in the way of planning or beginning your future. Don’t let someone who was never rooting for you, pull you down. Even yourself. You CAN do this! Every day is a new chance to get back on track. With each breath you inhale, with every second that ticks at every minute to every hour, remind yourself that you can turn it around right now. You can start from scratch or you can even finally say “GO!” Since you’ve been patiently waiting at “Get mark, Get set...” You’ve been waiting on approval from someone else. You are the only approval you need. Dust your hands and knees, stand up straight with your head tilted to the sky with your dream on your mind and success on your heart.
About Gabriella M.:
Gabriella is currently pursuing her degree in Mortuary Sciences at Wayne State University. She chose this degree because of her fascination with human anatomy since childhood! She is currently a student participating in the CHAMPS Program (Champions Aspiring to Make Pathways to Success) at Wayne State.
“CHAMPS truly did lead me into this current direction. I’ve received so much help through CHAMPS, from housing assistance to career goals, to just about any type of advice you need in any area. If they can’t help you, they’ll lead you into the right direction. I am just so thankful for the opportunities they have also helped me reach, such as speaking at Kid’s Speak and Michigan’s Children event speaking in front of Michigan’s legislature.” Gabriella M.
Gabriella describes herself as an African American young woman pursing her goals and aspirations with continuous perseverance, hope, trust, love and faith within herself. Gabriella is a leader, innovator, advocate and proud to be a TNFC Youth Leader Ambassador!
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